The wait for a little one is sadly going to last a bit longer. Fredrik Eklund revealed on Tuesday, Sept. 15, that the surrogate he and husband Derek Kaplan were working with has miscarried.

“I’m sad to share we’ve had a failed pregnancy,” the star of Bravo’s Million Dollar Listing New York, 38, shared in a heartbreaking Instagram post of a photo of himself with artist Kaplan, 40, looking out at a beautiful sunset, his husband’s hand resting sweetly on his head. “I have cried so much that I can’t cry anymore. We were pregnant with twins but we’re not anymore.”

The couple’s dream to have children, specifically a little girl that Eklund would name Milla, has been well-documented by Bravo, from sharing their decision to grow their family, to the struggle to find the right surrogate.

“I chose to share this here, because I made this quest for Milla (and hopefully her sibling) public a long time ago,” the superstar New York real estate broker wrote. He went on to explain that he and his husband have been receiving congratulations and gifts every day since they announced the happy news in April.

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“The last couple of days I couldn’t take it anymore, to upkeep this perception of happiness and success when I’ve been a total sad mess inside,” he wrote. “I’ve felt like a failure and that I’ll never get to where I want to go: for me and Derek to finally become parents.”

Despite the heartbreaking setback, the reality personality isn’t ready to give up.

“We will try again. We have to. I’m not giving up. We’re just not going to give up! We have to go on and simply try again,” Eklund added.

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